Seems Like Bad Stuff is Going Down All Over

Like most of you, I tend bounce around to different blogs from time to time. Recently, most of the blogs I have come across have posts dealing with some serious shit in the lives of the authors. Death, illness, sick/injured pets. I fall into this grouping as well with the illness of our dog. There is some comfort in that others are going through similar, and many times worse, shit. I guess bad things just happen and they happen to everyone. People are generally strong in spirit and whatever the issue may be on any given day, it will pass. I know... deep....
Anyhow.. here I am again. Yesterday was difficult as I was very tired. Today, a little better other then a wicked stomach ache that I no doubt made worse by chugging coffee this morning. Come to think about it, yesterday was a pretty good day. Left work on time, went to the gym, had some dinner, slept with the windows open. All in all a good day.
This past weekend I had the pleasure of watching the newest Rocky movie on DVD. From whatever reason, if any of the Rocky movies are on TV I have to watch them. It's not normal. Anyhow, the newest of the Rocky movies wasn't awful. True, ol Sly Stallone is obviously on the "roids" as any dude his age should not be that built. Not "Rambo" built, more like Over the Top "built" (for those of you that have not had the pleasure of seeing Over the Top, ask yourself - do you really want to see a movie about arm wrestling?). Anyhow, if you are bored, go rent it.
I'm just hoping to keep my head down and get through this day. All for now.

Beat Up

I have never been more happy to see the end of a weekend. Long days of watching the pup. We got him home Friday night. He's pretty beat up, but getting better. I may post something more later but for now I can barely keep my eyes open.

FUCK!

UPDATE: Just found out that the doggie is not coming home today -again. He vomited this morning. The vet suspects that his meds are upsetting his stomach. Another day, no dog.

Me Love the Gym

Yesterday I was in such a good mood for most of the day. The vet had called in the early morning Thursday and advised that we could bring out dog home as his surgery recovery had gone well. I was looking forward to having him home. Then I got a call at work from the vet.. my heart sank at the very sight of the vet's number on caller I.D. Well, it seemed that the pup had a bout with some vomiting after eating one of his meals. Although, on the surface, no huge deal. But, the vet really thought it best to keep him another 24 hours to make sure. I first reaction was to tell them to f-off, I want my dog. But, reason got the best of me and I went along with the vet's recommendation. So, another puppy-less night! The good news is, he has not vomited since SO today should be the day! For those who might be reading and have never had a dog, this all probably seems trivial. The dog is a family member, period.
So, as I now had time in the evening and it appeared that storms were moving into the area that would prevent me from mowing the lawn (thank god, I hate mowing the lawn) I took advantage of the time and hit the gym. I really wasn't motivated to lift anything but was determined to make myself go through this ritual. Much to my excitement, the "perfect storm" of gym misfits and glamour queens were out in force. This makes it so much better at the gym as watching some of these folks is truly entertaining and makes for a great distraction in between sets.
The 50 yr old socialite - This lady is classic! At only about 5 feet tall and dark black hair down to her ass, she is all dressed in the latest workout fashions. All of which are very tight. I'll give her that she can kind of pull it off, but only because of the obvious "work" she has had done. Giant chest, an ass like a 16 yr old etc, etc. What makes her entertaining is her half assed approach to the actual workout and her keen attention to the dude that works at the gym. Hilarious to watch her look over her shoulder to see if he is watching her "lift."

She's got to be a Stripper - Well, this one... she knows you are looking at her. There simply is no way not too. Kind of like a solar eclipse, you just can't help yourself but to look. She is a guilty pleasure and I would be lying if I didn't admit she has a place in my "spank-bank." Always in tight black workout pants and ab showing sports bra she hits the workout pretty hard. Which is probably why she has the bod that she has. I figure that she had a tit-job and figured that she needed the body to match. And speaking of her tit-job, as she lays across a bench it is always a good idea to catch a peek ... like I said TRY AND LOOK AWAY...IMPOSSIBLE.

This is better the a singles bar dude - I rarely see this dude at the gym, but he was in full force last night. This guy is always dressed in the tightest fitting Under Armor shirt. Sporting a gold watch, chains, tats (or course the barbed wire tat around the bicep.. that's a whole other post for another day). True, he is bigger then me. I'm sure how as it doesn't appear that he picks more the a few weights up at any one visit to the gym. What's great about this dude is that you can literally see him strategically place himself in the most advantageous spots to strike up a conversation with any mildly attractive female. I think we all know this type of guy. The best was when he asked "stripper" girl if she "needed a spotter?" Now that takes a bit of sack to do. She declined. To be honest which is worse: his aggressive approach with "stripper," or my lingering in the shadows waiting to see if a nip-slip occurs? I'll let you be the judge on that one.

Crazy Grunt Guy - I see this guy every so often in the gym. He's the one that lets out wild grunts while lifting. Yes, I know lifting can be difficult, but seriously is all load grunting necessary? It is so great to see others reactions when this fuck yells out on one of his reps. You can just see the smirks and giggles from others. Message to this dude - if it is that heavy, you shouldn't be lifting it. And, when you grunt like that the ladies don't find it attractive. It only begs the question of what does this tard sound like when he takes a shit?

18 going on 30 - You have to be careful these days, the younger females all look a lot more mature then they are. Sure, they may look pretty good but a word to the wise, they probably are just getting toned up for prom. Delete all memories from spank-bank - perv.

I do have so many more, but I'll save them as I'm sure I will re-visit the topic at a future date as my life really isn't that interesting.

All for now... Hi Jen, my one and only reader!

Need Sleep

I never got around to posting yesterday as I certainly was not my normal self (and still am not 100%). Where to start.... Tuesday was a decent day at work, which by that I mean I sat in my office and searched through the internet until I reached the end of cyber space. Upon leaving work I started my 4 min. commute home thinking I would grab a beer, the frisbie and head outside to play with the pup. So far so good... Well, the pup wasn't really interested in playing, only sniffing around the yard and chewing everything in sight. After about 45 min I took him back inside, gave him some water and planted myself on the couch. Nothing shocking so far. About 10PM came around and the dog decided to leave the living room and go into the office. This is "odd" He never leaves my side. I walked to the office and saw him sitting on the floor. I called him and he followed me back to the living room. He then laid down again and started dry heaving.... then whimpering. It didn't take more then that for me to throw some clothes on and blast over to MedVet. the drive to MedVet normally would take about 15 minutes... I made it in 7. Hitting almost 100 mph, it is amazing how fear heightens the senses! We got there, an x-ray was taken and it was explained that our "boy" needed surgery, and NOW! His stomach had flipped (a condition known as "bloat"). If surgery was not done, death was right around the corner. This didn't seem fair for a dog of 1 yr of age. So, obviously the decision was made to get the surgery and fix this mess. They, or course, asked for a deposit for the cost. Well... the deposit was more then what our preliminary estimate was to build a new deck at the house (needless to say, no deck this year). They prepped the boy for surgery and let us go back and see him before they started. Once he saw us walking back to see him, the tail began to wag at frantic speeds. His eyes told the story...I'M SICK... but he certainly wasn't giving in. After a big hug and kiss, we turned and left the room and began the agony of hours of waiting. Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock.... pacing, smoking etc... (fast forward).... 3AM the surgeon came out and to tell us the pup was ok and recovering. RELIEF. After about 30 mins. of talking with the surgeon, we headed home we left for home and without the pup as he was facing a few days in the doggie ICU to recover. I finally got to sleep around 5:30A Wed morning. The phone rang at 8AM... the vet. He just wanted to let us know everything was normal.... back to sleep.... 9:30A the alarm goes off... FUCK! I had to get to work. Although my boss told me to take the whole day off, I couldn't do this as I had more then a few people counting on me to get them some data, materials, and general bullshit. I rolled into work in a complete daze, so tired I could not even comprehend the emails in front of me. I tried to lay low. But I made it until 4PM and made it home. Although tired, I could not relax. The house was to quite. 10PM came and went and there I was still awake. Finally I decide to take a few Tylenol PM and let them knock me out. Didn't work. Mid-night arrives. Finally I fell asleep at some point. 7AM - the phone rings. The vet is on the other end and is telling me that our pup is ready to come home today!!
So, here I am at work - tired, feeling kind of sick BUT I'll have my dog tonight.

Readers Choice

Well, I got nothing today. My life is really not that interesting as I am sure you all are starting to figure out (and seeing that I only have 1 reader that only reads this b/c the "blog" is somewhat in her namesake). Yesterday at work proved to be like most other days, crap came in, crap went out. And like most days, at 3PM I started staring at the clock until 4PM hit and I was out the door like a bat out of hell. I had decided earlier in the day that I would not be going to the gym as Mondays at the gym are generally full of steroid full, frat boy, cock blocks. I had tried to get some friends together to hang out, but alas... they must have lives and all declined my invitation. So, I went to the local watering hole down the road to visit with my favorite bartender (and by favorite bartender, I mean the one that pushes free beer my way. I'm not sure why, but I have learned NEVER to question free beer. I only hope that the free beer isn't in an effort to get me to have butt love with a clown or something. But, if it is, so be it...it is free beer!). So there I was engaged in a lovely conversation with said bartender when this fuckin dude comes in an sits down right next to me. I kind of know the guy as he is somewhat of a regular, but that doesn't exactly mean that I want to chat. So after about 30 minutes of this fuck-tard talking about baseball and how he plowed some lady sitting across the room the night before (and by looking at her I can only assume her johnson is bigger then mine) I couldn't stand it any longer and asked for the check. And as usual, the bill was ridiculously low due to the "discount." I was off and on the way to the home stead. The weather outside was great, so me and the pup played outside for an hour or so. And that's about it ... at this point anyone reading this (Jen) has probably figured out that the few minutes spent with this drivel is time you will never get back. Like I said, I got nuthin'... hopefully something of note will occur soon for me to share.
Points of note:
Indians win in extra innings last night
Last Sat, the Ohio State Spring game occurred. 75,000 packed the "shoe" to watch what is essentially a scrimmage. Gotta love the Buckeye Nation!

Kinda Feels Like Slamming Your Dick in a Door

Monday... ugh!! I know everyone says they hate Monday's, but I seriously hate them. To the point of physical pain. Mainly, what I do for a living is such that it tends to insight stress. Now, don't get me wrong, I know there are many, many other jobs that are way more stressful... doctors, air traffic control operators, one-legged prostitutes etc, etc... But, I have the opportunity to get to deal with many "sales" people (sorry if anyone is in sales). I know the art of the sale is delicate. But, is raw stupidity also something necessary in the sales process? Is it really to much to ask that you learn to use you own god damned computer!? So, as I am conditioned to do over years of witnessing this type of behavior I live 8 - 10 hours a day Monday-Friday in a somewhat tense state. Waiting for the next fire to put out or the next question that even a retarded fetus wouldn't ask. The saving grace is that there are a few people in this rather large office building that are worth talking to. So, as I love a good list, here is a list of things I loathe about "sales" people:
1 - retarded. Some so much so that I wonder how the hell they can figure out how to function in the world. I picture most of them talking to clients while drooling on themselves with a load of shit filling their pants.
2 - Seriously... why the fuck wait till the last minute to make a request. Just because you were to busy playing grab ass with your mom shouldn't make an emergency for me (even if their mom is hot)
3 - Dumber then a box of hair (see #1)
4 - Ego, ego, ego... they have heard for so long that everyone should kiss their ring and declare them the saviors of the universe that they cannot understand the word "NO."
5 - Try and remember "sales" dudes.... I fucking out rank you in the eyes of the company. Next time you call and need your ass wiped, think twice dick-hole
6- Just because you have my cell phone number does not imply that you should decide to call me at all hours when you have a "brainstorm." Just because when you looked at the shit stain in your underpants and it gave you the next great idea doesn't mean that I give a fuck
7 - Learn how to reply to an email with "history." I get no fewer then 300 emails daily, so forgive me if I don't recall each and every situation I communicate to you ass-munches via email
8 - Quit telling me "I owe you a beer" after yet another instance of saving your collective asses. First, you will only buy the beer with your business credit card (I can do that, snail trail) and two, you NEVER buy the beer anyhow.
9 - Your "sales" tactics of communication are not exactly Jedi mind tricks. If you ask me about my family etc... I know you are full of shit and are just laying the ground work to ask for a favor.
10 - I see your boss, daily....you might be 5 states away, but I am right here in the home office ... yes - I talk. Recognize, bitch
11 - Realize everyone makes fun of you. Whether it be because you have a profound lisp, you can't create simple sentences, or maybe you like to sleep with fat sows after downing 3 beers.
12 - Pony-up and actually buy a decent blue tooth head-set. Do you realize the piece of shit you are using echos? Of course not
13 - If you leave me a voicemail, don't call me back to see if I got the voicemail. I do have other things to do at work other then spoon feed you!
14 - We all know you don't work 5 days a week. When you "work from home," I know that simply means you are home jerking off to Bob Barker (even though it is "The Most Exciting Hour on TV" still doesn't make it right)
15 - And finally (I could go on, but what's the point)... learn to say Thank You, douche

And there you have it ... if you are reading this and in sales, maybe do some fucking soul searching and come to the realization that no really likes you (your mom told me so)